Another Day, Another Breakdown
Midnight phone calls and desperate tears. She needed to be home again, so she came home. Sitting on the sofa, talking, crying, comforting. Both of us, crying together.
Helpless.
I feel so powerless, to support Starr, to help myself, to heal relationships.
In a couple weeks, the 5k will be a thing of the past…until next year. Hopefully, it will have been successful, and many lessons will be learned so that planning next years event will be less stressful. After the 5k we will have time to reassess. Do we need to make a change at school? With living arrangements? With work? Is counseling something to reconsider?
She has visited a couple counselors in the past 18 months. The first “released” her from counseling a year ago saying that Starr was “just fine”…..just fine my ass!!! She started seeing the second one this past summer. He said that she seemed to be managing the situation better than expected, that she had a handle on her grief and that she could keep coming or not. She chose to keep going for a while…but then became overwhelmed with life and stopped making appointments. I hope that after the 5k, she will go back to him, at least for a little while.
She has it right, she is bright and she sees the truth: Starr has two choices, she can live and move forward, or she can quit. She is not going to quit…she chooses moving forward.
It isn’t easy. Actually, it is so very hard.
Your blog has tugged at my heartstrings. I don’t know what else to say. Hugs to you and Starr.
Thank you….very much.