Easter Weekend

Okay, so I’ve said it before, and I hope you don’t hold it against me, but I’m not Christian. Despite this, Mayan and I usually have a little special dinner for Easter, just the two of us. This year Mayan’s little sister Sissy decided that she wanted to spend the day with us.

Things have been rough with the girl’s father recently. I’ve mentioned Mayan’s frustrations in the past, but his selfish behavior has exploded all over everyone he knows in recent weeks. I can’t go into details, but it isn’t good. Sissy needed a little vacation from all of that and we were more than happy to have her.

We met Mayan’s (ex)step-mom at the (approximate) half-way point between our homes and picked up Sissy Saturday afternoon. Their little brother, Rocket, was there too…12 years old and officially taller than Mayan. She is 5’7″, same as me. It is a little disconcerting. Where is the crazy little boy we knew so well??

Mayan took Sissy to the movies with a sorority sister and then they spent the night at the sorority house. I am sure that Sissy loved it! Then they came home and I made an Easter breakfast for them. It was a good day.

I bought Sissy a pre-made cinnamon roll, because Mayan and I are still avoiding wheat. We all indulged in sausages, bacon and eggs though! Yum.

I had offered our home as a refuge for the kids and I am very happy that Sissy felt comfortable taking a break with us. Rocket said that he wanted to come too, but he had sports obligations…hopefully soon! We miss him too!

This and That Tuesday

*I was really blessed when Sammy, the cat, joined our family. He really did help lighten things up around here! He helped me take my thoughts off of the accident from time to time and I desperately needed that. Although Zeta kitten was a real cutie, I wasn’t sure how he would fit into the mix. I have been doubly blessed by their friendship, it has been a real treat to watch them play and interact with each other!

*Starr spent the holiday weekend in Denver splitting her time between friends (a 21st birthday and the big CSU/CU game) and her siblings and step-mom. I love those kids and wish that I could have spent some time with them too…hopefully soon! Gosh, look at that! Starr’s little brother is 12 and will be taller than her in just a second! I found a pic from just over 18 months ago and Starr is squatting to get in the picture with him.

*I did some things over the weekend too! If I have decent pictures, I will create a separate post. If not…Happy Birthday Rosemary!! I had a great time at your party! And I just love living in Fort Collins!

* I don’t Tweet, but I just read this posted by PostSecret on Facebook. I have difficulty with all of it, but I’m working on it:

Dance like the photo’s not being tagged, Love like you’ve never been unfriended, Tweet like nobody’s following, (and added by a commenter) Blog like you’re your only reader

And Mine

I decided to try to make a Zentangle of Sissy’s name to add to her page:

I attached it to a page where I had printed the quote from yesterday. I think that both of the pages turned out well.

What I learned while doing the Zentangle is that my eyesight is way worse than I thought it was and that my cheap reading glasses made me seriously sea sick. I felt like I had been riding the teacup ride at the fair. I guess it’s time to splurge and buy some real glasses. I just worry that I will still get sick and they will be a waste of money.

I am off to the post office!!

In a Word

This is the page Starr made for her sister:

Actually, that is not the actual page but a component of it. She printed the above on velum and attached it to a piece of pretty paper with ribbon. It is very cute!

I am still working on mine…did I say that we were going to mail them out yesterday?? Today. I will get mine done and in the mail, TODAY!!

Advice for a Fifteen Year Old

I received this (slightly edited) email from Starr’s step-mom a couple weeks ago:

Hey there Kelly,

I have a favor to ask… for Christmas, I’m making Sissy (Starr’s little sister) a book with the words of wisdom from every woman I know that has had a significant part in her life in some way.  Basically, high school started off a bummer because she was so looking forward to it and then, it was just more school, she soon realized. The boys that she liked, liked other girls and the boys that liked her, she couldn’t care less about and friends go crazy when they have boyfriends and now, as of this weekend, she has a “boyfriend”  and teens in love are crazy, so, I thought I’d  get advice from as many as I could that know her.  Would you mind writing a few (or as many as you’d like) words to her? Examples of what some people have said they are writing are all over the place… from bullet points “Top Ten keys to life”, my mom is writing a note and sending pages from her diary when she was 15 years old, another friend is writing “why chocolate chips are better than boys”, another wrote why it’s important to keep your girlfriends when you start dating.  I’m also putting in lyrics from songs that mean things as well. The first song will be “15” by Taylor Swift… when I heard it, it totally made me think of Sissy’s life in the past few months!  If you have some scrapbooking paper to write on, that would be great!  The book is an 8 x 11 sketchbook that I’m putting the papers in and I’ll decorate the pages…so as long as the paper is smaller than that, it’s good!  Let me know if this is ok.  Thank you so much!  I just need it in the next couple of weeks… I’m hoping to collect them all and get them in the book without trying to cram it all in the last week before Christmas.

Thanks!

Of course I said “sure I’d love to put something together for her!” but have been dragging my feet. Today our goal is to finish our pages and drop them in the mail. I want to say the perfect thing…but am at a loss as to what that is!

So what does a 15 year old girl need to know? What will she truly take to heart? I found this that (at the moment) I plan to include: It is Maya Angelou’s response to the question  “what advice do you have for young people growing up today?

To laugh as much as possible. Always laugh; it is the sweetest thing one can do for oneself and one’s fellow human being. When people see the laughing face, even if they’re jealous of it, their burden is lightened. But do it first for yourself.

Laugh and dare to try to love somebody, starting with yourself. You must love yourself first, of course, and you must protect yourself when you can. You say, “Just a minute! I’m worth everything, dear.”

If you really realize that, you realize everybody else is worth everything. Everybody, fat and thin and plain and pretty, white and black, rich and poor, thick and slow and brilliant, everybody is worth everything. Start with yourself though.

I think it’s good advice for adults (i.e. me!) too! But what else, if anything should I add??

The Power of Hugs

I started this post last week. I had an idea. A good idea. I wrote the title knowing that it would be enough to remind me exactly what I had in mind. It wasn’t. Have I said that I need to keep better notes? Yeah. I do know that I planned to share my Rocket hug moment, so I will go with that.

My daughter used to ask “do you want it soft, medium or hard?” when she would give me a hug. We are a huggy family. I love hugs, I love cuddling….makes me happy!

One hug that I remember above most others wasn’t from Starr, but from her little brother, Rocket.

We had recently reconnected with Starr’s dad and family and were invited to her grandmother’s home for Christmas day celebrations. Rocket would have been two and a half years old. As he arrived with his parents and sister he  saw me across the room and took off in a run to greet me and give me a huge hug. There were lots of other people there, that family has large gatherings. Rocket made my day as I was surrounded by people I didn’t know yet and feeling a little lost, he made me feel wanted…loved.

I will never forget it.

He’s 11 now and we don’t get to see him or his sister, Sissy, as often as we would like, but I love them dearly.

I originally posted this video last March, and just saw it posted by Lori at My Life Interrupted reminding me that it might be a good match with this post:

Free Hugs Campaign

The Cousin’s Wedding

Starr went to her cousin’s wedding this past weekend. She went with her (ex) step-mom and little sister. She wasn’t looking forward to the wedding for several reasons, but ended up having a good night. I love that she has remained close to her step-mom in recent years, their friendship makes me happy.

I am stealing a pic or two to share:

Starr and her little sister. I love those smiles!

With her step-mom.

With the bride.

We Won!

Starr’s little sister, Sissy, came to visit this weekend!

We absolutely loved the following email from Sissy’s mom:

Woohoo!  You just won a 14yr old for a day!  Lucky You!  Here’s the time to pick her up! I’m sure you’ll have fun with your very own kid for a day!  …free of charge!  : )
Please feel free to enter for the 10 year old for a day contest as well! …coming soon!!!!!

We have already submitted our entries for the “win a 10 year old” contest. We hope to get a chance to visit with Starr’s little brother very soon!

We enjoyed having her here and wish that it happened a lot more often! The weekend consisted of live music, Skye, chocolate chip cookies, movies, gelato, home cooked meals, laughter, the “zoo” (pictured below),  and driving around town singing along with the radio.

I carried my camera with me, but failed to take pictures until we stopped at a local tourist spot:

Sissy. Making noise!

Starr. Joining the band.

A New Plan Has Developed

Starr is in her second year of college, and has been working on a history major with an emphasis in teaching. She wanted to be a high school teacher, because she loved school and she loved many of her teachers and wanted to be a positive influence on future students. Her additional plan was to get her masters in counseling so that she could be a high school counselor.

Starr, on the right, and her little sister, Sissy. January 2009

Starr, Sunny and Skye approached high school with the attitude that it was up to them to make the most of it. They joined, they participated, they laughed, they got to know the staff, they sang, they volunteered in the community. They achieved their goal.

Since high school, and the accident, Starr has continued to volunteer. In addition to volunteering at the local women’s shelter and starting her own non-profit in Sunny’s memory, she was recently named fundraising chair for her sorority, raising money for their chosen philanthropy.

…and with her little brother, Rocket. Same day.

Over the last few months, an idea has been growing. A change of plans. Instead of teaching, she wants to work in the non-profit field. She wants to help people. She has done some research and feels that her current major path can remain the same, and she will continue to volunteer over the next few years. Though she wants to focus more of her hours into building her experience with the administrative and fundraising functions of the charities.

If I haven’t said it before, she flippin’ rocks my socks! She isn’t perfect, but she has an amazing life view. Her choice to keep living, to keep striving for a meaningful future in the face of tragedy has constantly amazed me. It hasn’t been easy, but she is so determined and sees so clearly why she needs to do the things she does. I wish I had that ability.

Reality Check

We found out just recently that Grandpa Bill’s cancer has spread during treatment instead of improving. In the past two weeks his health has deteriorated rapidly. The doctors have put him in on-site hospice care. Although, his family would like for him to be home and are working hard trying to make that a reality. (I started this post yesterday, and since then have learned that he is in a coma via sedation, and while his wife remains convinced that he will be coming home soon, it just might not happen.)

My thoughts and prayers are with Grandpa Bill and Grandma Cora, as well as with Starr’s dad and the rest of the siblings and their families as they move through this emotional and difficult time.

Starr spoke with her brother and sister yesterday. Ten year old Rocket is a worrier and has questions about life and death. I thought Starr’s answers were great. Sissy, on the other hand, is fourteen and seems to be unplugging a bit from the events that surround her. Concentrating instead on how to get money so that she can go to California, land auditions and become a star.

I guess we all handle things differently. As for myself, I spent a good part of the day Friday suffering from a serious lapse in my New Years Resolution, taking on the grief and fears of Bill, of Cora and of Starr’s dad. It took Starr to talk me down…or up…and remind me of what I had so recently talked about. What I already knew.